It’s never OK to date your friend’s ex – and this is why
It just sort of happened. In discussing this topic with my female friends, it seems to me that men are especially experienced in dealing with this dilemma. Say a friend of mine breaks up with so-and-so, and we run into her at a party. In some ways this is perfectly natural. This sort of stuff happens more than you might think. But you do need to make sure you go about this right.
You’re Not a Bad Person for Wanting to Date Your Friend’s Ex, But You Need to Do It Right
Want to discuss? Please read our Commenting Policy first. Communication is vital if maintaining the friendship is important to you.
When you made the choice to start hanging out with your best friend’s ex with your friend, I encourage you to seek out support from a counseling professional. l love him so much and when they dating l didnt have a crush on him thats why l.
Image: iStock. We all know that sometimes people hook up with those in their friendship circle. Sometimes, those hook-ups can lead to fractures in the group dynamics, a kind of awkwardness. Especially when the hook ups overlap between people, or in this instance, your best friend. It could be a case that your friend says they’re over their ex, but in reality it was their only way of coping, or getting through the break up. Getting over a relationship is hard to do.
Whether they had a short or long-term relationship, the pain of breaking up often persists for longer than most like to admit. So, assuming your friend is completely over their ex is a risky assumption. Most the time the risk of losing a solid friendship for a potential hook-up is just not worth it. But the best course of action is to be honest and talk it out.
If you want to come clean with your friend, first establish your intention for disclosing the information.
Should You Date Your Friend’s Ex-Girlfriend?
Back in my hometown, I lived in a small arts and activism community, and everyone dated everyone. It was a cesspool of friends and lovers mixing. I distinctly remember talking to a new friend and finding out we had dated not one, not two, but three of the same guys. This made it difficult for me to even go on dates without thinking about all of the partners the other person might have had — people I probably knew and would inevitably compare myself to.
“Talk about a disaster—not only did I lose a good girlfriend over it, the ex ended up dumping me!” RELATED: 5 Crucial Tips for Couples That Can’.
The dating department is a complicated one and all these unwritten rules of dating an ex can sometimes get overwhelming when all you really follow is your girlfriend. There are key friends to consider when pursuing an ex. Think about else best it would be had your best friend and the ex dated for ten years and you then moved in? If you truly believe the ex is the one for you, explain to your best friend how you feel with true friends always put your happiness before their best.
John, I feel your pain. I think you just need to sit him down and date straight with him. John, I understand. I had two best friends in high school that were dating. Eventually they broke up but I stayed friends with both of them. In fact, I started talking to the guy. It is doing no one any good hiding the truth. That way both you and your boyfriend date be open about and enjoy your girlfriend without having to tip toe around.
Your friend, if he is your true friend, will eventually forgive you. It is an awkward situation to be in, but there is no girlfriend around the truth.
College Dating Advice: Can You Date Your Friend’s Ex?
My ex husband is dating my best friend – That is healthy and normal. Dating a friend’s ex: is it ever okay? I go to the gym more consistently, inadvertent errors in information may occur. Latter I noticed so it easy and use.
If you’re in the throes of a split but you hope to be friends down the road, read on for some expert advice. African American Couple Dating in.
Subscribe to our newsletter. Guy breaks up with girl. Obviously, this is a tricky spot to be in. Check in on the status of the friendship. Are you strictly casual buddies who give each other a low-commitment hang-out option? Or are there real emotions involved? Make the rounds. Rosenberg recommends that you go to both parties and share your true feelings. Ask for honesty. After that? Prepare to listen to thoughts and opinions that might not match up exactly with what you want to hear!
Woman unsure about dating former friend’s ex-husband
It all comes down to how your friend feels about it. You were a good friend and kept your feelings to yourself for long enough. It was a mutual breakup with no hard feelings.
Think about else best it would be had your best friend and the ex dated for ten years and situation, but I think Kelly and Rebecca gave you some great advice.
There are a number of reasons to stay amicable with a former partner, and if you’re currently in post-breakup purgatory, there are some dos and don’ts when it comes to being friends with an ex. Maybe you were dating a co-worker and you want to keep things friendly, you hang out in the same group, or you were good pals before taking things to the next level. Whatever the case, you may be treading in uncharted territory, and to move forward, certain aspects of the past must be left behind — and it’s not always an easy process.
But first thing’s first: Experts agree that if your relationship was toxic or harmful to your health in any way, it’s probably best to keep your distance for good. However, being able to form a healthy friendship in the future is certainly not impossible. Ahead, three therapists sound off on the best ways to transition your relationship from romantic to platonic, plus the first-hand account of someone who’s been there.
If you’re in the throes of a split but you hope to be friends down the road , read on for some expert advice. Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD , sociologist and intimacy coach, and author of the forthcoming book, From Madness to Mindfulness: Reinventing Sex for Women , notes that being friends with an ex isn’t inherently good or bad; but the reason behind your continued connection can be.
She explains the difference: “If it’s for practical reasons, like [you have] kids together or have to share the same spaces, that makes total sense. If it’s because you had a solid friendship and want to continue that, that makes sense as well. But make sure you’re not doing so because you’re secretly hoping to get back together, you want a ‘friends with benefits’ situation, or because you are trying to avoid the pain of losing them from your life. All of those reasons can lead to much more heartache and keep you stuck in life.
Should You Stay Friends With an Ex? Here’s What Experts Say
Human dating preferences vary from person to person. Someone likes thin girls, others enjoy chubby ones, some girls like muscular men, while others prefer slender ones. But we don’t base our choice only on physical parameters. We pay a lot of attention to the emotional and social side. Humans are very different, and we all have different tastes when it comes to choosing romantic partners.
The news about Simon Cowell getting it on with his good friend’s wife — or estranged wife, depending on who you talk to — has sparked a great debate once.
Is it possible to maintain a friendship with a friend who dates your ex? By Brittany Christopoulos. We all know that seeing your ex move on always evokes some sort of emotion. It may be anger, embarrassment, amusement, or even envy. But, the situation still does happen. Obviously, emotions are complicated, but try to remain calm. You must be honest about how it makes you feel, because it could cause a lot of issues down the road. If the thought of them dating makes you that uncomfortable, then make it clear to your friend.
If the start of their romantic relationship means the end of your friendship, then they should know that before they start dating that person. If your breakup was amicable and you feel you could handle them dating a friend, then vocalize that. No matter what your feelings are, you always have to keep the lines of communication open. You also have to take things slow and not keep any secrets.
Is it ever OK to date your friend’s ex?
Even though there are almost eight billion people in the world, it’s hard to control who you fall for, and sometimes, it can be the most inconvenient person of all: A friend’s ex. No matter how long they’ve been broken up, dating a friend’s ex can put you in a sticky situation. Your friendship could mean the world to you, but if you haven’t been able to shake the feelings you have for your friend’s ex , it might be time to have a conversation.
With her tips, you’ll be able to navigate this extremely precarious situation with the grace of The Bachelorette. Friends fighting. 1. Check in on the.
F ew relationship questions are as polarizing as whether or not you should stay friends with an ex. Anecdotal evidence feeds arguments on both sides — but what do the experts say? Under no circumstances should a relationship that was abusive, manipulative or toxic transition into a friendship, Sussman says. One study , for example, found that friendships between exes were more likely to have negative qualities, and less likely to have positive ones, than cross-sex platonic friendships.
That may be especially true if you were never friends before you dated, Sussman says. Sussman also says there are potential downsides to staying friendly with an ex. Are you giving the new relationship a [fair] chance to really flourish or blossom? Ashley Brett, a psychology researcher in her late 20s who asked to use a pseudonym to protect her identity , knows that struggle well. After breaking up with her boyfriend of about a year and a half, Brett stayed friends with him — and fell into an on-again, off-again relationship that lasted for more than five years.
Brett adds that repeatedly falling back on friendship allowed her to numb some of the pain of each breakup — which may seem like a good strategy, but can actually prevent future growth. The lines are murkier for couples without children, but Sussman says those who dated when they were young, were friends first, dated casually or were together only for a short time are good candidates for friendship. Robin Zabiegalski, a year-old writer who lives in Vermont, is a notable counterexample.